Welcome

My wife and I adopted Leah from the Philippines just over 30 years ago. It’s been many years  of love and joy matched by anger, depression and fear. Adoption Unplugged is a (soon-to-be-published) memoir dedicated to that story.

The truth is, at times adoption can be gut-wrenching and utterly devastating, and writing about particular incidents can help to clarify the larger import of what is often quite confusing when it happens. That’s exactly what transpired when I wrote my first serious adoption story for the writing group my wife and I were attending at the time. I found that I had to dive deep into both the literature and into my own thoughts and emotions in order to make sense of certain events that had happened. It was cathartic.

A few months later, after a few more adoption stories were written and read to the group, the idea was born to connect the pieces into a larger work. Over time I managed to create enough chapters that a possible structure to the stories emerged, and the idea of completing a memoir morphed from being a vague notion in my mind to being a real possibility. And yet, years later when I finally reached this stage, I find myself amazed to have finished the manuscript and immersed myself in the editing and publishing phases.

Our daughter, in case you were wondering, has followed the progress of the work and is fully behind the project. She (and the rest of our family) hope that it will be helpful to other adoptees and adopters who are facing the same challenges, or at least will let them know that they are not alone. Personally, I also would be thrilled if others having no direct connection to adoption find the narrative compelling.

This particular website started many years ago as a blog for my wife, our daughter and me to write about our adoption experiences as a family but, after a bumpy start, we let other priorities capture our time and stopped posting. Now, as part of the process of bringing the memoir to fruition, I’ve resurrected the site to talk about the book and track progress towards getting it published.

Thanks for visiting. Please have a look around and feel free to leave a comment.

Jay

About The Story

In Progress…

 

At this point in our our family’s life we appear to have reached the end of the really hard parts–our daughter is now an adult and in a pretty good space in her life. But some things still haunt her and she struggles to know who she really is–in other words, fill in pieces of her identity. She lives in a different city, but we are in constant touch and thrilled by her successes which these days outnumber her defeats. She has read drafts of the work produced thus far and is supportive of the project. We all hope that ultimately it will be meaningful to some of you out there but, at the very least, that it will let you know you are not alone.

Excerpts

If you want to read some excerpts from the book–just click on either of the hot links below, or access the same excerpts from the drop-down menu in the header above. Cheers.

Prologue

Chapter 1 – Petition

Gallery

The photos on this page are from the early days of our adoption journey. I think they capture some of the amazement and sheer joy we felt at bringing Leah into our family.

As Leah grew older, there were many times of joy, but also times of struggle, when Leah and other members of our family dealt with the fallout of her adoption. I’ve kept photos from those periods private, preferring to let the words of the memoir tell the story.

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