I’m Asian, but…

I was speaking to someone new who I had recently met, and found myself explaining a bit about my adoption and my family. I also found myself explaining how I have never truly felt like I really fit in anywhere.

There is has always been a disconnect with me and other asian friends I’ve come to know. I feel as though when people meet me, maybe they expect me to come from a traditional, or strict asian family, possibly Catholic and maybe was very good at math, or at school in general. Or maybe I’m super submissive and polite, quiet, and yadda yadda yadda. I guess with that being said, I’ve loved to surprise people that I am not really any of those things.

I have grown up not really feeling like I fit with any group. I was raised by caucasian parents, but I’m not white. I’m asian, but I’m not really.. I think that’s a part of the movie ‘Adopted’ that really struck something within me about being something ‘but’. I’m Asian, but… Does that make sense? I’ve never felt fully accepted by asian people. Even when I went to get my nails done the other day at the salon, one of the ladies asked me where I was from, and I explained, and briefly said I was born in the Philippines, and adopted and moved here when I was young, etc. And it was like as soon as she understood I was adopted, and especially by a caucasian family, it was like I was automatically almost lower than her or something. I’m not even sure what it was. But it was a strange vibe that I got from her.